Selflessness Is Crucial in Making Marriage Work
People very in love with each other can become so overwhelmed with their emotions that they can decide in a snap to get married. They can be impulsive without even thinking of what lies ahead when they finally settle down. A whirlwind romance as many people call it and depending on the attitude of both partners, it can either become short lived or can remain as a lifetime commitment.
One of the keys to making a marriage work is not focusing on one’s self all the time. Being selfless is the right ingredient. What this means is both partners, if at all possible, should try to fulfill the needs of the other first. One’s personal needs should only come second. This also calls for not being too sensitive if your expectations aren’t readily met by your spouse.
People who are self giving are worthy of emulation. They are few and far between these days but if one wills to change his or her behavior for the good of their marriage, it’s very possible to practice being selfless in many ways every day. Those who aren’t used to this attitude may initially have a hard time adjusting but when done consistently going forward, it has a chance of developing naturally.
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Patience normally accompanies a selfless attitude. A person who has the patience and tolerance for his or her partner’s negative views and behavior is seen to be more capable of putting aside his or her own needs for the benefit of the other partner. For people with this kind of behavior, it does not matter whether they’re stressed out or disappointed as long as they are able to give part of themselves to their spouse. They would rather be a stress reliever than become the source of stress to their marriage.
Many studies in the past have proven how selfishness of one spouse can lead to the destruction of their marriage. It can’t be denied that numerous people tend to be self-centered such that they want their wishes granted right away and that not getting what they want could lead to fits of anger and violent reactions.
Psychologists and evolutionary theorists agree that every individual’s personality has a selfish side. Although some will claim that they are not selfish as they can even give up their own interests for the sake of their partners, it has been found that there still remains some level of selfishness within one’s self.
Experts say that acts that tend to appear as selfless still actually serves a person’s own interest in some way. It can be to fulfill one’s own perception, to get an approval for an accomplishment or it can be a form of sacrifice but which is meant to improve one’s status in the eyes of other people or even in the eyes of God.
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Married couples, however, should understand that marriage is a union, a commitment to share life’s joys and sorrows together. In other words, the “I” should already be replaced by “we.” Personal satisfaction should no longer be a priority because in marriage, giving up one’s own interests, time, money and satisfaction for the sake of your spouse and children is the more ideal path to take.
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13 Responses to “Selflessness Is Crucial in Making Marriage Work”
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Husband wanted to work on marriage but is still seeing mistress.? I’ll make this as short as possible, husband moved out and in with mistress for approx two months and came home to work things out but found out yesterday he was still seeing her, i still didnt trust him and he finally admitted to me. Now we’re fighting and he left again and i dont know what to do. I want to work on this marriage and he even told me yesterday that he wanted to work it out and he still loved me and was going to cut her out of his life but we got into a fight because i went behind his back to talk to the mistress' husband to get some answers from him since i wasnt getting it from my husband, wrong thing to do i understand that now but i was confused and lost. I want to save this but i dont know what to do. We’ve a 7 yr old daughter together and part of me wants to let him go but we’ve twelve yrs together. I need advice on what i need to, just let it go for now and see what happens and dont concern myself with him or what? Please no rude comments, i need serious advice, this is major crisis right now and im deeply hurting.
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Your husband is a cheat regardless of which way you look at it. Don’t stay in a marriage just for the sake of a child. Children adjust to situations and they probably already know what is going on, no matter how either of you try to hide it. Don’t listen to the do-gooders who think you should hold on to a marriage just for the sake of staying married. You need to move on and get a new life before it’s too late for you to find something or someone that really cares about you. If your husband was concerned about your daughter, he wouldn’t have moved out to live with his mistress. Good luck and be strong enough to stay away from him.
Making marriage work – conflict resolution | My Sinchew. Making marriage work – conflict resolution. Family Features. 2007-11-21 13:01. The Chinese have a saying that even the teeth would sometime bite the …
Hi. It look like your husband don't really know what he wants or he want the both of you which isn't possible. You can require him to leave his mistress and work out with you or leave you so that you can move on because if he’s doing this he’s kind of playing a game with you, you know.
The Urban Institute | Issues in Focus | Making Marriage Work. Research findings that link unmarried parenthood and childhood poverty make marriage-skills programs worth considering. The link also calls into question …
Divorce. Immediately. Lawyer up now and start talking to your daughter about how this is going to affect her and help her start to cope emotionally. This man will never change, he doesn't want to work in his marriage, and he’ll ALWAYS cheat on you. Even if he chucks his current mistress to the curb, he'll find another. You deserve better for yourself, and you need to model a much healthier relationship for your daughter.
Making Marriage Work. Before we look at ways on making marriage work, perhaps it is a good idea to first look at some reasons why a marriage isn’t working.
Until he ends (completely) any communication with his mistress you have no marriage to save. Why did you forgive him so quickly the last time? He shouldn’t be allowed to explore other relationships, move out on you, say its over he wants to make it work – then back at home in your bed! No NO NO please set better boundaries for yourself and your marriage. He needs to work HARD to EARN your TRUST and Love again.
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I'm sorry you're in this situation but I think you did the right thing telling the husband his wife is whoring around on him. He deserves to know. I hate to say this & especially where there is a family involved but I think you should kick your no-good, cheating, lying husband to the curb. He choose a piece of a s s over his family. Nuff said.
Twenty-five Secrets to Making Marriage Work | Marriage | Reader’s Digest. Couples who’ve been married up to fifty years share their tricks to making wedlock work.
If he's still seeing his mistress then he's NOT serious about making marriage work. Get out and move on. It's going to continue to be a roller coaster ride if you don't and he'll continue to take advantage of you.