12 Responses to “Save Your Marriage by Getting Away”

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  1. jefpet488

    I'm so confused, what should I do? I'm to the point now where I've turned to the internet community for advice. I'm a twenty-four and have been married for three years. My husband is in the military. We dated only a few months before getting married, I was convinced he was the one for me and wanted no one else. A few months after we were married he deployed for a year. During that time he “changed” from the person I married. He became controlling and verbally abusive, he spent thousands of dollars on useless crap (things for his truck, etc), he would leave me ugly/curse filled messages on my voice mail when I didnt answer the phone, and he if I didnt do something his way on handle somethign his way he would “punish” me by not calling for days or weeks. However all the while I tried to support him, I sought help from the chaplains on base and from other military wives. Everyone kept telling me he was acting this way b/c of stress and b/c he had no control over his situation and therefore was trying to control me to try to comnpensate, therefore i gritted my teeth and held on. When he got home things only got worse. He constantly called me names, belittled me, controlled who I hung out with and what I did. Again I was told this was normal, that he was going through a “post-deployment transition” and that things would get better. Again…things only got worse. Countless times I would reach my breaking point and just break down, it was then that he would appologize and promise me he would do better…and i'd believe him. His promise would last days or weeks, but inevitably he'd go right back to the way he was. We saw two marriage counselors and he saw his own therapist. She blamed his anger and mood swings on depression and put him on medication…which he would take for a short while and then stop. In january of last year I started nursing school. I became very busy, where as before I only worked a part time job, now i was a full time student and working part time. This meant I was no longer able to do the things he'd come to expect (cook dinner every night, keep up with laundry, keep the dishes & house clean, etc.). He was unwilling to help out with anything around the house, stating that his job was more stressful than mine and my school and would complain when things didnt get done or dinner didnt get cooked. By this time he had also racked up over 10,000 in debt on modifications for his truck. Fast forward to now, I’m living five states away from my family in a town I hate and I’ll graduate from nursing school in May. About a month ago I told him that I wanted a divorce, that I'd fallen out of love with him and that I couldnt take his abuse any longer. Since i would be done with school soon there was no reason to stay in a town and marriage that i'd grown to hate. He begged me to stay and once again promised me that he'd get help and would change. I agreed to let him try, figuring all the while in my head that he'd screw it up again just like the countless times before….however he has proven me wrong. In the last month he has done a complete turn around. He's started helping out around the house, respecting me more and even going as far as to call up my family and friends and appologize for being a jerk the past three years. He's also seeing a couselor once a week and taking his meds regularly. Now my dilemma….I dont love him anymore. After everything I've gone through I’m angry and bitter! I’ve no faith or trust in him anymore, and though I truely believe he means it when he says he wants to change i'm not sure how long this time will last….just like the others. I'm ready to start a family and move on with my life and I dont see how I can when I cant even trust my own husband not to go back to cursing me out over petty things. I dont know what to do….he’s begging me not to leave him, to give him another chance. He swears he can make me fall back in love with him…….but im not so sure I can. I feel guilty for staying and knowing that I'm resenting every minute of it, however I feel just as guilty for leaving and not giving him another chance even though I dont want to give him ANYmore chances. I dont know what to do……i would appreciate ANY advice! Thank you and God bless! ~confused

  2. jonathja695

    Is it time to accept the fact that my marriage is over? My wife and I’ve been separated for nearly 2 months. We’ve been attending counseling during this entire time and are considering attending a marriage retreat. I've told her that I'm not in love with her anymore and that if I can't get that love back than we should end the marriage. She too has said that she’s not in love with me but wants to try and work on the marriage for the sake of our five year old son. Never the less, nothing has changed in regards to my feelings since we’ve separated. I look at my wife and their is nothing there anymore–no spark, no excitement, etc. Is there anything that I can do to try and get me to fall back in love with my wife? Is it even possible? My wife keeps saying that many people fall back in love with their spouses. If this is true I wonder what the percentage is on this becuase the way I feel I don't see it happening.

  3. latschmi992

    Marriage Retreats: Getting Your Marriage Back on Track. For Better or Worse Till Death do us Part Marriage is the union of 2 individuals who love each other and vow before friends and family and

  4. jeanetbo790

    Didn’t happen with me. I fell out of love for my husband, went to retreats, the whole 9 yards and there is nothing that can make my love for him happen. I realized I never loved him in the first place and that what the problem, you can’t get back what was never there.

  5. terrybru355

    Laugh Your Way To A Better Marriage Retreat. Is laughter the remedy for divorce? The Christian filmmakers behind Marriage Retreat (on DVD Aug. 23) think so. They soften a few hard

  6. spryor877

    Didn’t happen with me. I fell out of love for my husband, went to retreats, the whole 9 yards and there is nothing that can make my love for him happen. I realized I never loved him in the first place and that what the problem, you can’t get back what was never there.

  7. robycoop450

    Weekend to Remember – Marriage Getaway – FamilyLife.com. During the Weekend to Remember marriage getaway, you’ll receive marriage- changing principles that you can take home and apply to your daily lives that

  8. jriggs490

    Didn’t happen with me. I fell out of love for my husband, went to retreats, the whole 9 yards and there is nothing that can make my love for him happen. I realized I never loved him in the first place and that what the problem, you can’t get back what was never there.

  9. jimmis771

    Covenant Marriage Retreat with Craig Hill – Marketplace Leaders. Covenant Marriage Retreat with Craig Hill. Time: November 3, 2011 at 7pm to November 5, 2011 at 7pm. Location: Daystar Church Street: 3434 Pleasantdale

  10. marts139

    Didn’t happen with me. I fell out of love for my husband, went to retreats, the whole 9 yards and there is nothing that can make my love for him happen. I realized I never loved him in the first place and that what the problem, you can’t get back what was never there.

  11. loden838

    Know of a spiritual couples' retreat that's not Christian or Bible-based? We're anti-organized religion, and are more hippy-like. We’re not Christian, and kind of identify more with Buddhism. We're open minded people and are interested in spending our honeymoon on an intense spiritual retreat for two.

  12. marbod211

    Great Vow Zen Monastery in Oregon offers regular couples retreats. The next is May twenty-two – 24. Here are the details: Congratulations on your marriage!