12 Responses to “Purpose of Christian Marriage Counselling”

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  1. kelentz540

    Financial problems in my marriage? My husband has to pay four hundred dollars in loans from each check he gets. So I know how much is left over by the time the loans are taken out automatically. I also keep up with how much the bills are. Additionally, he’s not budgeting well and I suggested that we turn my account with a different bank into a joint account for spending money as his bank only does credit for checking cards. Meaning, when things are pending, you don’t see the actual balance until the money is taken out with certain things like gas for instance. I told him with my account, we would see everything and the available balance even if it’s pending. Of course, he refuses and told me there is no point in switching the money over to a joint account yet I see different. He has caused us to go in debt with every pay check for the past five months because he refuses to budget well. I'm actually getting tired of all this stress that could be avoided if he would just agree with me! He said he would rather have the spending money be in cash and leave the cash in our house. I told him hell no because that’s extremely irresponsible as we can lose the money or worst, a home robbery. He blames it on the loans but it's not the loans, it's his lack of budgeting well. How am I going to convince my husband in getting a joint account?

  2. conwel655

    Intimacy Issues – How to Be Intimate in Marriage – Redbook. Fifty-two ways to fix the intimacy issues in your relationship.

  3. shaa257

    The only that worked for me was to stop rescuing us when my husband did that, which really sucked with utilities and which 'forced' him to get private loans to get caught up…but it worked. It sucks when the conversation comes down to “Either you trust that I know WTF I'm doing and you stop spending improperly, or I'm leaving. I like to have power that's turned on. This is financial infidelity: you’re cheating me and us out of the confidence and financial security we can and should have because you refuse to stop spending and you refuse to negotiate. Let me handle the budgeting and we BOTH get a cash allowance per pay check, or we'll lose the house and then I'll leave. These are your options, along with marriage counseling no matter what happens financially.” It's not manipulation or an idle threat if you fully intend to follow through with it. The consequences of his spending will leave you homeless. The consequence of one spouse running the pair into the ground financially is usually divorce. Rarely, marriage counseling works, but it's sure worth a try. (Look for a sliding scale counselor). Letting him fall down and not rescuing him may work. Have a backup plan of somewhere to stay (get a rental lined up in case you all lose the house) and be prepared for a war with his ego. ETA: generally, unless the money in his “private” account was gifts or an inheritance (or earned prior to marriage), it's JOINT income, not just his. You’re entitled to half of it should you choose to leave. It doesn't matter if the account is older than the marriage, either: once he mixes pre-existing funds with income earned since you 2 married (as it appears he has) AND if he has indeed paid any mutually shared bills (or even vacations, food, etc) with that mixed , it's still half yours. Sugar, he's abusing you by using the finances to control things. I know you say that, but are you ready to look at all the ways you can take action? I suggest individual counseling with an abuse specialist (check your local domestic violence center for free or sliding scale counseling and legal help.) You ae actually causing part of the stress with your current responses. He’ll either change, or he won't, but you must get yourself able to financially support yourself should you lose the house (I say that based on knowing that my husband wouldn’t be invited to move with me in that case until and unless he showed 6 months of financial independence and responsibility.) Not seeking outside help privately, without him, is all on you at this point. I know it's blunt, but blunt seems to work best. You need help right now, not hand-holding. If counseling isn't available, get thee to a financial advisor or atty specializing in financial abuse asap.

  4. ang497

    MenWeb – Men’s Issues: Secrets of Married Men. They recognize an opportunity to use their “man” skills to solve the problem. These husbands view marriage woes as they would any malfunctioning household

  5. leroc49

    You're crazy, I would never get a joint account with my husband. He too has poor spending habits. I tell him how much to give me every time he gets paid then he can have the rest for whatever. The figure I give him is half of the total bills for the month plus 10% for savings. I control all the money.

  6. jsch800

    Marriage: Love and Life in the Divine Plan. Issues and Action Get Involved Take Action Now Religious Liberty Faithful Citizenship Marriage and Family Cultural Diversity Human Life and Dignity

  7. jowi333

    The sooner he faces financial reality the better; your situation will only go downhill. I’ve done tax work for forty years and see this type situation all the time. If you can’t budget or plan finances you had better put it in the hands of somebody who can or your life will be a living hell at best. There is no margin of forgiveness anymore when it comes to money; look at what the idiots in DC have done to us by spending 10 times what comes in and now want to crucify some working stiff taxpayers to correct the situation. Solution? Run for congress appears to be it.

  8. melvinko92

    Marriage issues – now what? Today we got snowed in…fun fun. But things were going great until our new dog (chihuahua) bit my husband in the face and drew blood. I understand that it kind of made him mad. Would have me too. But I was cooking some chicken for supper tonight and he kept eating it. I told him to stop it. He grabbed a handful and not intending to cause any serious pain I popped him on top of the hand with the spoon (plastic). It hit just right and hurt. Just as soon as he pulled his hand back he came back and hit me in the face with his palm hard. I was so shocked he did that I didnt feel any pain till about five min after. I’ve never hit him out of anger. I was soo hurt he would do this and be proud of himself. I never said a word. I just walked off. He never said anything to me. He called his friend over and acted like nothing happened and left to go ride. I’m so hurt by this. I dont really know how to take this. Am I wrong for being hurt emotionally? This all happened so fast. He has always had anger issues but never hit me. We’ve been married six yrs and this is a first. I dont know how to take this.

  9. jefpet488

    Sims three marriage issues? Ok so i'm trying to have a gay marriage on sims three with Cevin Faron I’ve max relationship but the propose option doesn't come up in social options so im wondering how i propose to him. Idont have the commitment issues trait on so it’snt that he are going steady but thats it (I’ve had a gay relationship before) also im wondering if it may be that I’ve an adopted child that i can't get married to him (should i try to boost my childs and Cevins relation up)

  10. glencl964

    Issues of weight in marriage? I was reading someone elses questions and it got me to wondering about weight and relationships. In the question the mans wife, over the last four years of marriage had gained 50lbs, obviously he wasnt happy and wanted her to lose the weight.(she went from 110 to 165) He also was upset because she liked to show off her stretch marks (from giving birth to their 1st child)… My question is, is it reasonable to expect your partner to remain the same weight throughout your marriage? What is the line from reasonable weight gain to too much? Is there a line? If their weight is healthy ,is it still reasonable to expect them to lose weight if you still arent attracted to them? What if they’re happy the way they’re? Opinions…

  11. melvinko92

    When will i get married? Horoscope issues..? Hi All, My marriage is getting delayed a lot because of jataka(kundli) problems. Though I’m from a moderately rich family and in a respectable job, none of the bride's parents are accepting our marriage proposals because of my star and jataka issues. I and my parents started getting frustrated because it has been almost 1.5 year since we started the searching. Can anybody provide some guidance on when will i ever get married, so that we can calm down a little. If it’ll become late, can you suggest any remedies? My jataka(kundli) details are: My Date of birth : 28-04-1986 Time : 20:33 Place : 1011'N 7839''E[Tiruppattur TN] Thanks in advance

  12. spryor877

    Marriage and family issues? I’ve been married for twenty years. My wife doesn’t like me to drink any wine or beer. I don’t get drunk and never been in trouble and have a good job. She says I spend too much time in the garage and with my dog and the gym and just do my own thing. There are a lot of things she tells me she doesn’t like about me that I do and would like to see action and not words. I tell her the very same but I don,t see any change with her so after about 2 weeks I see no changes with her so I go back to my old ways and she says I’m ether up or down but never can stay the same. My question is should I continue with working on the things she doesn’t like every day even if I think she’s just taken advantage of me ? When I see nothing back from her when I’m trying I build up resentment and become cold to her and do my own thing. Also is it right that I’ve to stop drinking wine , and she says no wine at all to save my marriage and family ??