Five Characteristics of a Healthy Marriage
In a world where so many marriages it seems end in divorce, how do some marriages stay the distance and some fall by the way side? Here are 5 characteristics that are common in all loving and committed relationships.
1. Putting one another first
Although it’s a really hard thing to do, to ‘put one another first’ is vital if the marriage is going to work. That means putting aside any distractions, any insecurities, losing any selfish desires so you can move forward in this life together in a loving and committed relationship, no matter what situation you may find yourselves in. It can be hard to adjust to, but this is exactly what you’re saying in your vows when you sign up for a marriage for the long term.
2. Listening to each other and understanding one another’s needs
One additional beneficial thing relevant to this subject. From this desire to put one another first, comes the’llingness to listen to one another and to understand each other’. Everyone has different needs but in a successful relationship there is a willingness to understand and help meet the other person’s needs as an act of love to them. Take time to listen to each other, and see things from their side, understand their history and background, what makes them tick. This is vital so that you know your needs are being met and prevent any dissatisfaction in the relationship.
3. Nipping arguments in the bud
There will always be disagreements in any relationship. In fact, if there isn’t any disagreements in a relationship it often means something is wrong. But never let arguments become bigger than they should be. Do all you can to resolve them, and move on together.
4. Practicing forgiveness
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We all mess up from time to time, and when you live together its really easy get on the wrong side of each other. But if you forgive quickly then minor disagreements do not get a chance to build up. Talk it through with your partner, let them know how what they did affected you, and agree a way forward. Nonetheless, there are times when it’s more difficult to forgive, but if any relationship is to survive and be healthy, forgiveness has a major part to play in that.
5. Being in it for the long-haul
Take your marriage vows seriously and resolve to be together and stay together for the long haul. Know that there will be good and bad times but you can get through them if you want to. It just takes mutual commitment and a willingness to work things through for the good of your relationship.
Marriage isn’t easy, but these are five characteristics that I hope can turn your relationship into healthy and prosperous one. I am sure you can think of many more, but these are a great starting place.
If you enjoyed this article and want to know about more resources for cultivating a great relationship, go to http://www.bettermyrelationship.com
15 Responses to “Five Characteristics of a Healthy Marriage”
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My husband changed his mind about having kids. What do I do? My husband and I’ve been married for 2 years and we’re absolutely in love. Before we got married, I loved how much my husband loves his family. He truly is a family man and I knew that he would be a great father. He would always talk about how much he wants a little girl and it would melt my heart. About a year and a half ago, his parents got divorced completely out of the blue. Basically his mom had put her own kids before her marriage and fell out of love with her husband. It was a hard time for us, but we came out stronger than ever. We realized that marriage takes constant effort and we were even more determined to have a healthy marriage. We both graduated six months ago from college and I always thought that after finishing school we would start our family. From the start our plan has been for me to be a stay-at-home mom and I've always known I wanted to be a young mom. Now that we're both done with school, I've been bringing up the topic of starting our family. We're still young (23 and 22), so I'm fine waiting a year or two, but my husband has said he’sn't sure if he wants kids anymore. Whenever I bring it up, he mentions how he's scared of the responsibility and doesn't think kids are worth all the work. I know he would be a great father but I think he's scared that our relationship will change when we’ve kids. I've tried to explain to him that I'm his wife first and that our relationship will always be the most important to me, but I don't think he's willing to have any sort of change in our relationship. He likes that we can do things together just us and go on dates and spend all of our time devoted to each other. I don't know what I can do to change his mind, but I want to be a mom more than I can even explain. I honestly feel it’s my purpose in life. Leaving my husband is not an option but not being a mother isn't an option either.
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Jeeeeeeeeze lady, you're twenty-two and twenty-three years old. You graduated from school 6 months ago. Give it a little time maybe. What's the big rush, having kids is what you're “supposed to do” ? All your friends are doing it? Maybe you have some type of medical condition? Why don't you give your husband a little time to relax and enjoy his life, I mean you both did just graduate from college, you guys can''t even have a stable career yet. (not possible to determine job stability in less than a year) And like someone else said, you wasted your money on college. You could've been a stay at home mom and a high school dropout. Yeah your husband isn't sure because YOU'RE BOTH STILL KIDS YOURSELVES. Jeeze, maybe he wants to a chance to be a kid some more before he becomes a daddy. Rushing it much?
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This is a huge problem and has been grounds for annulment under some circumstances and also a cause for divorce. He have to decide what you can live with; if you want children you’ll need a different husband.
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Your both still very young yet And he’s still shocked at his parents divorce Because it happened to them don't mean it’ll for you But right now he’s worrying it’ll Enjoy a little time together this will reassure him And when it does happen he’ll be delighted
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If you don’t have kids, you’ll probably be alone in the future. When you and your husband get very old won’t be able to talke care of yourselves.
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You can't have it both ways. You state “Leaving my husband is not an option but not being a mother isn't an option either.” impossible. Something has to give.
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Men go through a faze when they’re in their 20s I went through it until I was about 26. Family divorce can affect all age groups, I would give him some more time to think about it likely he’ll change his mind.
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You’re 22. Give your husband eightteen months to grieve and see if he still thinks he doesn't want kids. Maybe try babysitting a friend or family members kids. It might show him what he’s missing.